What To Do When You’re Feeling Left Behind In Life?
We often compare ourselves to those around us, leaving us feeling behind in our own lives. Whether that be romantically, financially, or emotionally, we feel left behind mostly because of how we believe others perceive us. It’s that feeling of not wanting to sound pathetic when we talk about how single we are, or how apathetic we feel about our job and yet believe we are “too old” to pivot at the ripe age of 27, or how we just feel kinda sad a lot of the time and are not really sure why. I’m here to tell you, you are not alone.
You are one in over a billion other young adults experiencing life transitions, adjustments, heartbreaks, financial burdens, and so many more real and inevitable factors that you must go through before you can become the confident, assured adult version of YOU.
So how do you make these moments of self-doubt and confusion feel a little less disappointing?
First, we have to stop trying to skip a chapter in your own book to get to the next one quicker. If you skip too many pages, you are only going to end up being more confused and have to take a step backwards to reread what you missed. Slow down, take a pause, and try to lean into the uncertainty and trust that every bad day will pass and take you one step closer to where you want to be.
Now I know this is all so much easier said than done but our minds are the most powerful tool we have. Through changing our mindset, we can become more resilient to life’s challenges and write the narrative we want to live out.
For my single readers anticipating these colder months without someone to cuddle by the fire:
Work on yourself aka: find a new hobby, go on more walks, take yourself on a date and become comfortable being alone instead of feeling insecure by yourself.
Prioritize time with friends aka: host a dinner, make plans in advance to look forward to, reach out to that person you’ve been meaning to text and just make a small connection that feels good.
Spend a little extra time with family aka: go home a day earlier for the holidays, call your grandparents, write personalized holiday cards. When you’re in a relationship or have children, this will become so much harder to make time for so take advantage of the time you have now, and you never know what will come out of it... may even be a significant other! Positive energy and confidence are so powerful. It’s beautiful what can happen when you’re so focused on being the best version of yourself.
For my readers feeling lost and behind in their careers and finances:
You’re not supposed to have it all figured out in your 20s. It is utterly irrational to think that you would have become a success with financial stability by your late 20’s. Not to mention, those who have figured it out have been guided by many people with much more experience. If you want to achieve success in your life and catch up to those who are where you want to be, you will need to get out of your own way and try new things, challenge yourself, make mistakes, learn from them, and then keep going. Failure and rejection are part of growth, without it you can’t learn enough to succeed.
Just start. There is no such thing as a perfect time. If you have an idea, go for it and you’ll figure it out and if you don’t, that’s okay too.
Some few people will find their calling early in life, but for most, it will first take some trial and error.
The best-selling cookbook author and TV show host, Julia Child, was 37 when she went to culinary school and was 50 before she launched her career as a chef.
Ray Kroc was 52 years old when he founded McDonalds.
Morgan Freeman didn’t make it to the big screen until he was 50.
Momofuku Ando invented instant ramen at the age of 48.
Colonel Sanders franchised KFC at 62 years old.
For those readers that have become too familiar with feelings of sadness and anxiety lately:
You are not alone in these feelings. It is easy to feel like everyone else has it all together, which can lead to you feeling even worse. Please remember that everyone is battling something you don’t see on the outside.
Stay off of social media when you’re feeling vulnerable.
Talk to someone! If these feelings are starting to impact your daily life, I urge you to find a therapist to help you work through these heavy emotions. By keeping these thoughts inside, we often ruminate on them which can prolong and exacerbate the negative emotions.
